This article was written and published for CaFleureBon and received a nomination for the Perfumed Plume Award.
Edible iris drops. Collage by dana.
Before heading out to my first Esxence, back in 2019, I gathered my senses, dove deep into google for contacts, crossed my fingers, and sent everyone I could find an invitation to fill out a short survey. I titled it, simply, “the nosey questionnaire” and went all out with questions like: “what’s the next popular material to fall out of fashion?”, “who’s your perfect buyer”?, and “what’s your favorite swear?” (sorry, had to). Andreas Wilhelm (Wilhelm Perfume, Sarah Baker, L’Adone, and perfume.sucks, FIFI Award winner and all-around awesome hunter-gatherer) was one of the first to answer it—and his witty, realistic, and refreshingly playful words made even more sense once I saw him in person.
His latest project, perfume.sucks, is built on a transparency model that’s both needed and slightly intimidating: every formula has been rejected by other brands, and is displayed, raw, straight on the bottle. No context, no explanation, no scintillating marketing (except for his iris candy, of course).
So how, then, in this era of complex stories and insinuating visuals, does one go about reviewing these “alcoholic solutions. Sprayable”?
This is how.
Red. Photo by dana
NAME: Black
ASPECT: Tall, strong, you can’t not see me. Night creature.
PREFERENCES: Loves metal and menthol. Can keep going for a long time. Secret meditator.
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: woody, pulpy, heady, armpits, leather jacket, cat.
ANIMAL SPIRIT: goat
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: Nothing matters. Not even Nietzche.
FAVORITE COLOR: red
(benzoin, pepper, rose, oud, ambergris, oakmoss, amber, ambroxan, nard, olibanum; other perceived notes: dirt, musk, spices; sweetness)
Orange. Photo by dana
NAME: Yellow
ASPECT: No body to speak of. Creature of dusk.
PREFERENCES: Silence, nature, high vibrations, cyclicity, oneness...as long as it’s silent.
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: Others can’t feel me unless I want them to.
ANIMAL SPIRIT: bumblebee
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: There’s no wrong; the wrong is just a longer way to get to the right.
FAVORITE COLOR: orange
(official notes: rum, amber, cumin, cyprion, wood, patchouli, sandalwood, fir; other perceived notes: labdanum, smoke, stone, copper, salt)
Yellow. Photo by dana
NAME: Blue
ASPECT: Tall, lean, you can’t not see me. Morning person.
PREFERENCES: I love early runs and fresh sheets.
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: neat; uppidy; friend-next-door; always ready; inventor of the scrunchie
ANIMAL SPIRIT: unicorn
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: Don’t let them see you. If they do, be terminally delightful.
FAVORITE COLOR: yellow
(official notes: sandalwood, cassis, hedione, ambretone, cardamom, mate and calone; other perceived notes: soap)
Green. Photo by dana
NAME: Purple
ASPECT: Thin and stringy, striking, studied, stunning
PREFERENCES: Velour. Sasha, Andy, David, and all the other cool cats at the Studio (54)
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: excessive and painfully prolific
ANIMAL SPIRIT: orca
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: create make fabricate invent
FAVORITE COLOR: green
(official notes: ambergris, pine tree, ginger, mimosa, orris root and ambroxan; other perceived notes: rose, blackberry, camphor)
Blue. Photo by dana
NAME: Green
ASPECT: Sun-kissed, thick, smooth, perky; unibrow; dimples.
PREFERENCES: Maximalism, expressionism, overt feelings, continuity; would rather suffer together with others than be happy on one’s own.
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: always there, but always slightly off; gay; lover of life; sunny.
ANIMAL SPIRIT: monkey
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: if you’re going to San Francisco, don’t forget some flowers in your hair
FAVORITE COLOR: blue
(official notes: ambroxan, hedione, cardamom, olibanum, black pepper, labdanum, citruses, mandarin orangev, magnolia; other perceived notes: cannabis, green apple (or green mango?), milk, lemon drops, coffee, burnt rubber, hot steel, paint, rootbeer)
Indigo. Photo by dana
NAME: Red
ASPECT: Tall and muscular, shiny, smooth, clean
PREFERENCES: Loudness and speed, precise driving, risky (big) money; side passion in overting misogyny and calling out night snackers. Religious exerciser.
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: Strong and lethal, undeterred, like a cobra.
ANIMAL SPIRIT: puma
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: Whoever feeds you controls you.
FAVORITE COLOR: indigo
(official notes: coumarin, lemon, iso e super, vetiver and hedione; other perceived notes: lavender, cassis, spices)
Violet. Photo by dana
NAME: Living coral
ASPECT: plump and rosy, soft-skinned, rubensian, curly nests of coppery hair in all the good places, exaggerated features you can’t look away from
PREFERENCES: togas, grapes, thick friends lazily waving ostrich feather fans, decadent desserts, exotic animal likings, casual philosophy, vicarious traveling
HOW OTHERS DESCRIBE ME: shallowest smart brain ever
ANIMAL SPIRIT: secretaire bird
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY:
FAVORITE COLOR: Violet
(official notes: violet leaf, saffron, violet, iris, peach, ylang, benzoin, heliotrope, cinnamon, jasmine, clearwood, ambroxan, cotton candy.)
Disclaimer: Samples of perfume.sucks kindly provided by Andreas (danke!). My opinions are my own.
Comments